Marriage, Family, and Finance Books We Love

A close friend of ours is getting married this month. I'm the type that likes to really think carefully before I buy a present, especially a wedding present. I get so frustrated when we forgot to get the present and have to run to the store 30 mins before the party or wedding and we just have to grab anything that will do as fast as we can! Sadly my sister's wedding was one of those frustrating moments. Of course for my sister I really wanted to get something even more memorable and nice for her! But somehow in the buzz of the wedding I didn't get her what I had hoped. I guess we'll just have to make it up and surprise them some anniversary with a belated better present. I like to have a few weeks or months to really think about all my options. I don't want to just get something that will clutter up the newlyweds home. Decluttering is already challenging enough combining two separate lives into one with all the old memory nick nacks that tend to accumulate through your growing up years. 7 years of marriage later my husband and I are still trying to get our home decluttered from all the junk we've separately accumulated. I also don't like buying things that need replaced quickly. I like to buy things that when they use them they remember we cared. We have several wedding gifts of our own like this. Every time we go on a camping trip we remember a couple friend of ours who bought us our tent. Maybe that's silly of me, I don't know. Anyways, as I've been shopping around for a present for my friend, I finally decided I was going to go through and pick some of our favorite books related to marriage, finances, and babies to give them as well as a few fun kitchen items that they had on their registry list to help them set up their new home. It was a tough job narrowing our favorites down to just a few, but here is a list with links to some of the books that have really helped us grow together as a couple in different aspects of life.

Marriage

-Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
This book was great for helping us understand early on what they call the "crazy cycle" where one doesn't feel loved so they show disrespect and the other feels disrespect so they don't show love. That cycle can keep going and going until sadly sometimes it ends in divorce. Or we can choose to stop the cycle and choose to show love and/or respect in spite of what we think our spouse deserves which in turn helps heal our relationship with our spouse. (Now this doesn't mean letting a spouse abuse you. If you're experiencing abuse, you need to find someone safe to help you through that.) This book is full of other great helpful chapters on understanding our spouses and that's why it made it to our favorites list.

-The Power of a Praying Wife
When we were first married, I decided to sign up for a Spanish Bible Study to keep my Spanish practice going. It was such a sweet group of about 5 older ladies and me, the only newlywed. I was so grateful to find a Bible Study of women who encouraged me and truly respected and loved their own husbands, instead of the much more common scenario where you go to a Women's Bible Study and they are all bashing their husbands. I loved every moment in that group! This book taught how powerful and real prayer can be in your marriage. The lessons I learned from these ladies and this book were so important to me and I still use a lot of what I learned from them today. I'm thankful I read this book at the beginning of our marriage.

-Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together
What a great book this is! Oddly enough this book also helped me through some depression I was going through as Mark Driscoll talks about a point where he too was going through the same kind of depression. I have experienced Postpartum Depression, but in this book as you'll find, there are other reasons that can lead you to depression as well. This helped put in words what I couldn't seem to explain on my own to my husband.

Childbirth
-Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
I know, I know! A childbirth book on their wedding day?! But you have to understand as a Doula this is a passion of mine. The book is so fascinating explaining the female body that I wish all women could read it even if they never planned to have a baby. Did you know that women can actually go backwards in dilation? Or how about that birth can actually sometimes feel good? Yes as a believer, I know the Bible says we will have "pain in childbirth", but Ina Mae, who doesn't profess to be a believer, but has researched the original words in that verse explains in her book that the word can actually be translated "hard work" or "toil" instead of "pain". Everyone experiences birth differently, but this will open your eyes to what you don't normally see when the media portrays birth. I will warn you the pictures show everything. My husband wanted me to cover the pictures for him or just read it to him as it made him uncomfortable looking at other women like that.

Finances
-Dave Ramsey's Complete Guide to Money: The Handbook of Financial Peace University
We read this book along while going through the Financial Peace University Workshop before we were even married. A great read on how to take care of your finances so you don't get into the deep pit of debt. Sadly, my husband and I still did go into some debt a few times in our marriage, but we are working to dig out of that hole and grow our assets.

-Rich Dad Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!
This is one of the latest books we've been reading. For believers, sometimes we are afraid to make money. We think money is evil and so we should just make enough to provide for our families and not "be greedy" and try to make a lot of money. We think we don't want to be "filthy rich". My husband and I now are learning as we read this book that like the parable of the talents in the Bible, we should be going out and trying to multiply our talents or money. It's kind of sad that there are so many missionaries out there that have to take long periods of time off to raise support. Shouldn't we as believers be wise with our money so we can give even more and help out. This book explains how to stop working for money and make money work for you through your assets. A very exciting and encouraging book. It's worth much more than the $4.83 price tag!

Hopefully some of these books can be an encouragement to you too!